


Day Twenty-Eight

by SarahWritesThings



Series: "Extreme Risk" [6]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Depression, Episode: s05e03 Extreme Risk, Friendship, Gen, post episode, we all need a support system
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahWritesThings/pseuds/SarahWritesThings
Summary: "It had become their silent pact, always keep an eye on her. Check in when she insisted on working through the night, remind here that they were there and that they loved her. To be honest, Chakotay had no idea whether it was actually helping, but he had to believe it did."





	Day Twenty-Eight

**Author's Note:**

> I have decided to invent chairs that tuck away under the console, because no one wants to stand for an eight hour shift and I wanted them to be able to sit and talk in this scene, yolo! :D Thanks for reading!

It had been twenty-eight days since it had all started, or at least when they had finally realized what was going on. Twenty-eight days since he had walked onto the holodeck, and thought she was dead, killed by a freak accident. But she was alive, and it turned out to be so much more.

He had seen B’Elanna a few times that day, during the staff meeting, checking on a report about navigational control. She had seemed quiet, more reserved than usual. She was responsive, but not all together present.

Tom had warned him, when they started their duty shifts, _“B’Elanna’s a little off today, I don’t think it’s anything major, but we should keep an eye on her.”_

It had become their silent pact, always keep an eye on her. Check in when she insisted on working through the night, remind here that they were there and that they loved her. To be honest, Chakotay had no idea whether it was actually helping, but he had to believe it did.

So when it came to the end of Alpha Shift, Chakotay surreptitiously checked the duty logs. Sure enough, B’Elanna was still in engineering, logged onto the console at her personal work station.

He typed out a quick message to Tom, who was now in Sickbay, assisting the Doctor.

_B’Elanna’s still working, on my way to engineering now to check in._

The response was quick.

_Affirmative. Let me know if I need to be aware of anything._

Main Engineering wasn’t busy, with most of the engineering staff working on the Delta Flyer repairs, they were down in the shuttlebay.  But Joe Carey was working at the console nearest the door and turned when Chakotay entered.

“Hello Commander, what can I do for you?”

“I was just looking for B’Elanna.”

Joe nodded, leaning against the console slightly, arms crossed. “She’s up in her workstation, been there most of the day.”

“I guessed as much.”

“I just wish I knew how to help her….” He grimaced slightly.

“Trust me Joe, I feel the same way.”

"I just hope she knows we're all rooting for her."

Chakotay smiled and placed a hand on the engineer's shoulder. He moved past to ascend to the upper level, spotting B’Elanna’s form hunched over the console as he approached.

"Anything new to report, Chief?"

She turned, blinking at him. "Nothing, it's just another day at Warp. All systems are functioning normally, we did a few repairs this morning, there’s not much needing to be done down here."

"And what have you been up to?"

"I've just been working on reports."

He pulled out one of the chairs from under the console and sat down next to her. "All day? You hate reports."

"I know, but it gets me out of the way."

"Out of the way?"

"From everybody," she jerked her head slightly, as if shaking off a thought. "I know what I'm like today, I'm sure no one wants me within eight parsecs of them."

"You know, Joe’s worried about you."

Her head snapped up at this. A dance of panic playing across her features. "Worried?"

"When I walked in, he made a point of saying that he was worried, and hoped you knew that he, and the rest of the engineering crew, care about you."

She didn’t say anything to this, she stared at him, eyes slightly out of focus.

"B'Elanna?"

"It's fine....I just....I didn't realize...."

She pushed herself away from the console, chair sliding backwards across the floor. Wrapping her arms around herself, her eyes fell of the floor.

"They shouldn't have to worry about me."

He sighed, "B’Elanna, you’re shift technically ended an hour ago…you should go home, get some rest."

"No! I need to be useful. I need to be doing something." She shook her head and moved back to the console, looking around desperately.

"How useful are you really being when you're like this?"

She turned to him, "are you going to relieve me of duty?"

"Of course not."

"Then let me work. Let me be."

"B'Elanna, I want to help you. I just don't know how quite to do that."

Her voice warbled slightly, "well if it makes you feel any better, I don't know what to do either."

He placed a hand on her arm, "I think the best thing to might be to try again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Her tone had shifted now, she shook him off, turning to face him fully.

"Call it a second chance, if you will."

"A second chance?"

"Yes."

B’Elanna’s eyes moved past him, staring at a point on the wall. A thousand thoughts seemed to be running through her head as she sat silent. "So what happens when I mess up that chance?"

“What?”

"When do I stop getting another chance?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I got kicked out of Starfleet, and I got to start over in the Maquis. Got flung across the galaxy, got to try again here on Voyager. And now I'm here and, somehow, I'm screwing this up too. So why should I get another chance right now? When does it stop being worth it?”

Chakotay stared at her, his mouth hanging slightly open.

"B'Elanna-"

She cut him off, pain reading across her face. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. You came here to check on me and I'm just....it's fine."

He couldn’t let her push this aside. "No, it's obviously not."

"Chakotay.....I'm tired."

"I can imagine. You’ve been working all day."

“No…I’m _tired_.”

She ran a hand through her hair.

“I’m tired of sitting up here alone all day but feeling like it’s the only place I can be. I’m tired of you and Tom checking up on me everyday like I’m a fragile doll but feeling so _grateful_ that you are doing it. I’m tired of being _like this._ ”

“ _B’Elanna_ …”

Chakotay had never been one to shy away from the tough things in life, but it was moments like these that he wished he could fix it all for her. That he could take away B’Elanna’s pain and make it magically better. That he could do more than sit and listen when she fell apart, then try and help put her back together again.

But he wasn’t about to stop now.

He reached out and wrapped an arm around her, having learned recently that B’Elanna, despite all her tough Klingon prickliness, loved to be held. He rested his chin on her head.

“No one on board feels like they are ‘dealing with you’. We are you family, not a group of babysitters who are going to get mad that you’re hurting. We’re always going to be here for you, and we’re going to give you a thousand and one tries to get up again, because you are worth that and _so much_ more.”

She gave a shuddering breathe, face tucked into his chest and tension falling from her shoulders.

He asked gently, "do you want to head home?"

Softly, she answered, "yes I do."

“C’mon. Let’s get some dinner, if you want, we can talk some more, or we can eat in silence.”

She pulled away and look at him, blinking away tears, and nodded once.

An hour later, as Chakotay was leaving B’Elanna’s quarters, she called out to him in the hallway.

“Chakotay?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”


End file.
